I'm a 21-year-old woman who hatesbeing on topduring sex.I have never liked it.Aside from feeling like my guy is getting a really awful angle/view of my body,I just don't feel like I do a good job.How can I incorporate being on top without feeling so uncomfortable?
Are there certain techniques I can try?I know I have to work on letting go of the idea that he's seeing me from a bad angle,and I'm trying.What's the best way to be on top?Am I doing it wrong?Ugh,help!
This is a great question—and trust me when I say you're not alone in asking it.So many women can relate to feeling uncomfortable while in cowgirl position,and what it all boils down to is a lack of confidence.If we don't feel sexy or know whether we're pleasing our partner,why would we want to saddle up in the first place?
Let me give you some perspective on this issue: Studies have shown that women overestimate their body size by up to 25 percent (in addition to vastly overestimating how thin they think their man wants them to be).I think we're all guilty of getting sucked into the "I need to lose 25 pounds in five minutes so I'm going to eat nothing but celery" mind-set every once in awhile.But most of what we worry about is all in our heads.Men don't really care about that little bit of tummy flab you can't stop obsessing over.Trust me: They're just ecstatic that you're having sex with them!
I know,letting go of those long-standing insecurities is easier said than done.But if you're up there and your mind starts heading towards the newsreel of negative thoughts,try turning your focus to all the pleasure you're giving your partner,and the pleasure you're experiencing.If you can replace those negative thoughts with new and positive ones,you've already won half the battle and are on your way to a sexy time in the driver's seat.
The great news is,there's no rule that says you have to be completely naked!If you're feeling insecure about his view from below,wear something that makes you feel comfortable and sexy,like a slinky tank top,lingerie,or—even better—a super cute pair of crotchless panties.The more comfortable you feel,the less you'll worry about your body woes.
Now let's get down to the other part of your question: the physical discomfort you're experiencing when you're on top.
In theory,the cowgirl position should be a win/win.Being on top lets you control the motion and depth of penetration (instead of him pounding away and finishing in less than 60 seconds).Plus,with him on his back,you're free to grind your hips in whatever way will provide the best direct clitoral stimulation.Basically,it puts you in control of both of your orgasms.
Still,if you aren't a regular rider,it can be challenging to relax,let go,and have fun.Think of it as a sport;the more you practice,the better and more confident you'll be out on the field.Sexual competence leads to sexual confidence,so put on your game face,climb on top,and get ready to give your man the ride of his life.
Assume the position by putting your knees on either side of your partner or squatting over him with your feet flat on the mattress.Slowly lower yourself down onto his penis—with an emphasis onslowly.That moment of penetration when you're on top is super-hot and feels amazing,so don't speed through it!