About a year ago I began dating a girl who was a horrible text responder.至少在一开始。When I first asked her out,it took her three days to reply.我是说，I get playing it cool.当谈到约会,no one wants to come off as too eager,but that seemed excessive.As our relationship progressed,her text responses eventually came quicker.By the end,she'd reply almost immediately,which of course led me to conclude that the whole slow response thing at the beginning was purely intentional.
虽然当时我觉得很烦人，I didn't worry too much about it.I figured that her carrier-pigeon-paced responses were just her own misguided way of implementing "the chase." But then I dated two more women right after her who did the exact same thing.Not only that,but their texts would pinball between flirty and curt.My natural instinct,of course,was to assume I was doing something wrong.As a lifetime member of the Foot-in-Mouth Club,I've long accepted that most social miscues are my own doing.But then I mentioned it to my other single friends—both men and women—and they all professed similar experiences.It appears the "the chase" has become something more of a war.
Look,a little bit of gamesmanship in dating is fun.Well,sort of.But I feel like we need to draw a line here.诱惑是永恒的艺术，and then there's being a jerk.Maybe you've been guilty of behaving this way,or maybe you've been on the receiving end of it.在任何情况下,我觉得我们都可以在回拨游戏的过程中接受一点教训。下面是一些让我们开始的提示：
1。Don't wait so long to text.
It's understandable that you want to play it cool when you first start chatting.I for one would be a little wary if my texts were replied to instantaneously,right from the get-go.But "cool" is 45 minutes to an hour before responding.That says,'Hey,I've got an exciting,忙碌的生活，虽然我很想和你谈谈，I do have some things to get out of the way first.' But waiting more than 24 hours?That just says you don't even remotely give a shit.
2.Either commit to text flirting or don't do it at all.
I personally am a fan of a little text flirting,but I know it's not to everyone's taste.The problem,though,is when the person you are chatting with sends one flirty message and then immediately follows it up with the text equivalent of a police dispatch.Those of us on the receiving end are left wondering if we said something offensive.A minute ago you were all smiley face emojis and winks,but now you sound like we just threatened to kill your dog.Unless someone actually does threaten to kill your dog,keep the weird hot-and-cold texting to a minimum.
3.Stop treating dating like you're channel-surfing.
Online dating apps have probably made this problem worse,but I think a big part of it is just the culture we live in.We go out with someone with the mind-set that there's probably someone else out there even better.就像有200个频道；we don't care about what's on—we care about whatelseis on.I'll admit,I suffer from this particular malady too.But we must remember that there's an actual human being on the other side of it.If you're going to go on a date with someone,just give that person your full attention for the duration of that date.It's,like,two hours of your life.And who knows,you might even find out you're attracted to him or her.