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Dating Men: The Pros and Cons of Meeting Dudes at Bars

If you haven't yet subscribed to the lure of online dating,meeting eligible guys to date outside your social group is hard.Does bar-hopping make it easier?Let's examine the facts.

If you haven't yet subscribed to the lure ofonline dating,会议符合条件的人dateoutside your social group is hard.Does bar-hopping make it easier?Let's examine the facts.

The Unequivocal Pros of the Bar Pickup

Having a couple of beers in you makes it way easier to chat up some guy,or vice versa.

You get to scope each other out Discovery Channel-style before making any moves,which is--if I may use some technical jargon here--the funnest.I am partial to the "passive-aggressive walk to the bathroom with light,sultry side-eye in Man X's direction."

It is more socially acceptable to wear what Beyonce would call a "freakum dress" to a classy bar than a house party.And it is common knowledge that,when worn with confidence and the single-minded drive to get laid,freakum dresses are the road paved to Win.

__Visual Aid A:

If he ends up being a dud,there's a number of easy outs without making anything awkward: shifting position at the bar,going back to your friends,pretending there's an emergency at the pretend hospital you work at as their premiere pretend neurosurgeon,etc.

There is wayyyy less pressure on both you and the guy than if you had met in any other context.If you're not into it after some chatting,great.If you want to havecasual sexwith him,great.(You guys know my feelings onone-night stands.) It could grow into casual dating,along-term relationship,marriage,Make a Baby Pastaand babies.Or you could sorta text each other after youhook upbut then stop.Freedom is great!

And The Indisputable Cons of the Bar Pickup

When you're talking to someone cute at a bar,it's easy to keep chugging drinks without thinking,and you may find yourself crossing over from "cute,tipsy and confident" to "crying about something your mom said to you a few years ago about your eyebrows and then staggering into a cab."

Also: beer goggles.Otherwise known as "leaving the bar with Leonardo Dicaprio and waking up withGary Busey."

You don't know anything about his romantic history at all,which,granted,is kind of appealing,but also kind of terrifying.Worst-case scenario,he could be cheating on a wife or something.

If you hit it off while tipsy,there is a good chance if you trade numbers and make a (sober) date,it may turn out that you two had nothing in common other than a high tolerance for tequila.

Talking to duds.There are many,and it's a bummer.One time I was at a bar on a boat with my friend Julie (the linguistic entrepreneur behind "sexlove") and some finance guy with a gold watch the size of Montana chatted me up with lines like "So you're a writer?Easiest job ever."

There is an extremely slim chance that this guy could be Buffalo Bill fromSilence of the Lambs,but regardless of how slim,I feel that it should be acknowledged.

__Visual Aid B:


You never have to see him again!Or,as Miranda says in an episode ofSex and the City,"We didn't work out.You need to not exist."

__Did I forget any pros or cons?你有什么bar-dude的经历是怎样的?Tell me below!

More bars andmen:

Cheers!A Nightlife Expert's Guide to the Bar Scene!

My Wildest Sexual Experience: We Shut Down the Bar!

Cheap Date Idea: Visit a Local Dive Bar

Photo: Thinkstock