This reader was wondering why,all of a sudden,guysjustwanted to sleep with her:
Dear Single John,
*Growing up I was always the girl that had a boyfriend.My last boyfriend broke up with me almost two years ago,and since then,I find that the guys I've been seeing will play the romantic,sincere,genuine guy,but then after weeks or months of dating,when sex comes into the equation...they're done.What am I doing wrong?I'm just upset because I used to be the girl that guys would love to be with,and now I'm just the girl that guys want to have sex with,even though I don't feel like I've changed.
- Sea Change
*Are you hot?You sound hot.Know why?Because guys will pretend to be sincere,genuine,and will be genuinely,sincerely romantic when they are trying to bed a hot girl.
These guys are called "d*cks." They are also sometimes called "fraternity brothers."
Is it possible that nothing has changed about you and you've just had an unlucky run of bad guys?I have no idea how old you are,but if I was to guess,I would say you just graduated from college in the last couple years.
In university,we're surrounded by likeminded,similarly aged people,in tightly knit social circles,and for better or for worse,people tend to couple up.After school,we go into the real world,and all of a sudden we're lucky to find someone of similar age,intelligence,etc.that we are even mildly attracted to,never mind who is also a nice person.It's part of the reason dating is so frustrating.At times,it seems like the odds are horribly against us (business idea: Dating Camp…oh wait,they already have that;it's called "Bars.")
I don't know you,so I can't say whether anything has really changed.If I was a betting man,I'd bet your social circumstances have.But all that said,unless you have some weird stabbing,vomiting,or crying thing you do while making love,I'm also betting that you just need a little patience and some good luck.
I don't know if I can tell you how long to wait before having sex with someone.Only you will really know.When you think the time is right,you could try telling him what you've just told me,and gauge his reaction.
Or failing that,you could always do a master's degree.
Have you found that guys are interested in you in different ways at different times in your life?
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