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独家报道:Gabourey Sidibe在This Is Just My Face

Exclusive Gabourey Sidibe Writes About Her Time as a PhoneSex Operator in This Is Just My Face
Keenon PerryPlethora Media Group

Everybody knows you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover,但是你可以判断一个书名。ActressGabourey Sidibe's memoir, This Is Just My Face这是一本书的最新范例,它符合其名字令人难忘的态度。Writes Sidibe: "I am talented.我很漂亮。我是黑人。我胖。有时候我是个婊子。在任何时候,“我是个坏婊子。”她有很多故事要讲:关于她妈妈的地铁歌手生涯,关于约会,关于成为红地毯上的新人(“你不知道压力,直到你不得不穿着从商场买来的衣服站在宝拉·巴顿和玛丽亚·凯里之间”)。But our favorite part by far is the chapter about Sidibe's prefame stint as a phone sex operator.对,you read that right.In fact,当她试演这部电影时,她是一个每小时15美元的“电话演员”。珍贵的,which turned out to be her first starring role,奥斯卡提名了一个。了解整个故事,下面。

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I was 21,couldn't afford to go to school,找不到工作。我找了几个星期。月。但因为我的经验很少,no offers came my way.To be fair,我不能胜任大多数不涉及翻汉堡包的工作。All I had under my belt was a one-day stint selling knives during my freshman year of college.我还辅导过一个刚开始和她合作时几乎看不懂书的女孩。我是一个教孩子读书的好人吗?Obviously!我基本上就是耶稣。但这是否使我能在21岁时找到工作?显然不是。

我的治疗师建议电话营销。我觉得这是我可以做的事情;I had a pleasant speaking voice that didn't match what I look like in person.听,I could lie to you and say that I happened upon phone sex while looking for telemarketing jobs,but we're friends now!You know me!As soon as my therapist suggested "telemarketing," I heard "phone sex."

I'm not sure how the ad was worded.It may have said,"Phone actress." I know it said,“没有必要的经验。”基本工资和每小时15美元的潜力。Yasss!I called the number.A woman gave me an appointment to interview to be a "talker."

说真的?I thought I'd be walking into a dungeon with girls in ripped underwear chained to radiators,对着接受者呻吟。I was surprised to see a normal-looking office with pictures of employees on the wall.Inspirational quotes on banners hung from the ceiling.I sat down with two other women who were also being interviewed.First,我们谈论数字。The talkers made a base pay of $7 an hour,but if you were a good talker,你每小时可以得到15美元的佣金。Commissions broke down to about 10 cents a minute for every phone call,but after 10 minutes,they doubled to 20 cents a minute and tripled to 30 cents a minute after 30 minutes,等等。如果打电话的人很喜欢你,想叫你的名字,你打招呼之前赚了2美元。

Then the interview turned into a workshop about what to say and what not to say.Tips included: The caller will tell you what he wants you to say,and all you have to do is listen and then say it.例如,如果来电者说,"Are you wearing something sexy?" the answer is "Yes." We learned that phone sex isn't about getting the caller off;it's about stalling so you can make money.A good talker makes the caller forget he's paying to talk to you.She makes her answers as long as possible to keep the money rolling in.所以,“你穿性感的衣服吗?”天啊!我是!It's new too!I went on a shopping spree with my roomie!We're the same size in panties,but my boobs are bigger than hers,and I borrowed her bra and stretched it out so we went shopping for more bras,我看到了这个超级可爱的蕾丝泰迪。It's red with black bows on the bottom with these straps that hook to my panties!当我弯腰的时候,我的屁股就像一颗心脏!The seat of the panties is mesh,and you can see through it so…!But I'm wearing a silk robe over my teddy because I just had a visitor.My weird neighbor asked to borrow milk.Really?Milk?He's like obsessed with me.What areyou穿着?”看到我在那里做了什么吗?If that guy's not already coming or whatever,he might want to know more about that roommate.他可能想更多地了解那些内裤,甚至那个奇怪的邻居。If the caller is freaky,他可能想知道更多关于牛奶的事。

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We also learned what weshouldn'tsay to a caller.There were FCC regulations that meant we couldn't discuss certain things on the phone: drugs,weapons,血液,或任何与18岁以下的人有关的性行为。A lot of men would call and say,"My stepdaughter is eight," and the talker had to say,"Let's keep the party for people above the age of 18." Some men would then say,“我的继女是八岁……十几岁。”徐徐说。But just so you know,there's more than likely no stepdaughter at all.没有妻子。每一个电话都是关于幻想的。If a caller wants you to stab him,you politely decline and make him aware of the rules.你可以打屁股,但没有伤口和出血。有些来电者想窒息而死。You offer to choke them until they pass out,but they are to remain alive.

另一条规则是你,the talker,were not allowed to be any race other than good ol' American白色!The average caller is a white male.整天压迫世界其他地方之后,那个白人想回家,call a phone sex line,and talk to girls he's seen in porn or on TV.一般的色情或电视女演员都是白人。According to what I had already seen at this company,一般的谈话者都是一个大块头的黑人妇女。That's right,白种人!You might think you're talking to Megan Fox,但实际上你在和……嗯……

But hold on!I didn't have the job yet!We were still at the interview.Now it was time for the audition.We moved to a room with computers that showed how many talkers were on phone calls and how many were available.We were given names to use based on the sound of our voices.Mine was Becky.Then we waited for calls.

I was pumped!我已经准备好性感了!我的电话响了。“你好?这是贝基!这是谁?”

"My hand is on my cock,太难了!!

"Oh..."

我45分钟的训练在0.045秒内离开了我的大脑。I had no idea what to say!I was 21 years old!I wasn't a virgin,but I certainly wasn't some hot and horny temptress who knew what to do with that hard cock.I didn't know what to do with it in person,and I didn't know what to do with it in a white-male fantasy.我是说,damn!浪漫在哪里?I remembered that we'd been told to get the caller's name,location,and age.I started again.

"Hi!我是贝基。你叫什么名字?”

Click.

我第一个打电话的人没有我的“嗨!I'm Becky" bullshit.又打了三个电话;没有超过一分钟的时间。I wasn't sexy,and I couldn't pretend to be.最后,教练说,“好吧,you're done." I took the headset off so that I could hear that I wasn't getting the job,但当它碰到桌子时,Becky got another call.“你好?这是贝基!这是谁?”

"Hi,Becky.这是康妮。”

A woman!A female caller is rare.We ended up talking about Victoria's Secret bras for more than 40 minutes.I forget how the call ended.I think Connie ran out of time;I don't think she got off.事实上,I have no idea how to get a woman off.I know what gets me off,但我不能确定比萨和独自玩The Simswill do it for other women.

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When the call was over,I was offered the job!我还没有意识到这项成就涉及到男人们对我的耳朵大呼吸。I was Melody,女孩1266。

I started the next day.我得到了一个刻有号码的耳机。谈话者的地板是一个巨大的暗室,里面总是画着阴影。通常有大约30个健谈者坐在隔间里,每一张桌子上都有一台电脑。一个说话的人从不坐在另一个女孩旁边,因为打电话的人不应该偷听到下一个说话的人。

For the first week,我坐在发言人代表处。This is where the expert talkers trained new talkers and helped them adjust to sucking a dick over the phone.These women I cannot remember by name,but their numbers are as clear as day: 5,10,and 20.They had been with the company since the beginning.They made the most money because the majority of their calls were from the same customers they'd been talking to since the nineties.The majority of women on the talking floor were mothers.Others were college students,strippers,支配地位,or grandmas there to make extra Christmas money.

The company was founded by a white couple that was usually on their way to a cruise or just coming back from a cruise.There were a few men who worked at the company,each somehow connected to a woman—a husband,a son,男朋友。Men were only hired after a woman who worked at the company vouched for them.When the phones were busy,不管他们在哪个部门,all of these smart black women had to get on the phones and pretend to be stupid white girls for the pleasure of white men.The irony wasn't lost on me.But I told myself I wasn't degrading myself for some faceless caller.他是那个在听我说话的时候为了变得粘糊糊和恶心而付钱的人。I was in a cubicle in an office making a decent amount of money.Sure,有很多电话都很丢脸。But what was I supposed to do?退出?我买不起。I allowed myself to think I had the upper hand.

I was a good talker,which gave me a sense of accomplishment,and I was able to help my mom with the rent,which made me feel productive.我能玩得起。Also,I don't want you to think every caller was some creepy man wanting me to call him Daddy.When I first started,I worked from 8:00 P.M.到早上8点,大部分的呼叫来自阿富汗的士兵。They didn't call for sex;they called because they wanted to talk to someone who didn't miss them.One soldier explained that wanting to be there for a loved one could make you feel worse than you felt before.通话结束时,a soldier would say,"Ma'am,it's been real nice talking to you.And remember that we're out here fighting to make sure you're safe."

大约一个半月后,我开始从事电话性爱,I turned 22.几天后,a supervisor called me into the conference room at two in the morning.I followed her in,and the trainers,supervisors,接待员给了我气球,a card,还有一盒巧克力作为我的生日礼物。The card was signed by multiple talkers,我不认识的大多数人。I was surprised,because I hadn't made friends yet.I thanked them and went back to the phones.

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During my lunch break at around 4:00 A.M.,I went into the break room to read my book:可怕的故事by Edgar Allan Poe.The same supervisor saw me and remarked that I was smart.I thought if I was as smart as she said I was,I would've been able to find a job where I didn't have to hear the word公鸡a hundred times a day.Later,她告诉我一个接待员要走了;如果我需要的话,这个职位是我的。我工作不到两个月,and I was being given a promotion!Receptionists made $12 an hour.从技术上讲,作为一个健谈者,我有潜力赚更多的钱,but as a receptionist I didn't have to pretend to blow anyone,so it was a better job.(Maybe I am smart?) My receptionist training began that same day.第二天也有传言说我是个女同性恋,一直睡在升职的路上。

如果你聪明的话,一切都会好起来的,but my greatest virtue is patience.我在公司工作了三年,right up until I got the part in珍贵的。我接受了我所学到的秘密,shame,and pleasure,and applied it to the real world around me.I learned how to talk to people.I learned how to flirt.我学会了用我的个性来领导。I learned to deal with rumors.(如果说空话的女孩认为我是女同性恋而升职的,I let them.All the lesbians I know are dope and get shit done.我被称为更坏的人!)我学会了问我想要什么。I learned that your average businessman carries plenty of shame as well as self-entitlement.(Also,he might be wearing panties under his suit and that'shis我不害怕对任何人说什么。I'm not afraid tobeanyone.I've experienced the worst of people,and learned that we're all still human.My patience taught me to survive,and my intelligence helped me say yes to acting when the opportunity was presented to me.

I've had acting roles that I felt demeaned me as much if not more than the phone sex calls.我之所以扮演这些角色,是因为我的工作就是承担这些角色,而且因为我所获得的关系和经验最终会让我创造和扮演自己的角色。I want to tell my own stories,and someday soon I will.

Excerpted fromThis Is Just My Face: Try Not to Stareby Gabourey Sidibe.Copyright © 2017 by Gabourey Sidibe.Used by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.All rights reserved.