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史密顿

一个男人解释说:为什么我们碰到你时总是很尴尬(我们很害怕)

首先你的心率进入平流层,as if someone pulled the cord on a lawnmower.Pretty soon your pulse pounding away in your head is all you can hear.Next come the usual suspects: shortness of breath,口干,tunnel vision,胃把自己裹成一个结。对我们来说,生活中没有什么比冷遇一个我们想谈的女人更可怕的了。有些人很擅长,但他们是极少数。对于我们其他人,看到一个美丽的陌生人通常是完全存在绝望的第一阶段。不管你怎么切,试图和一个女人搭讪是一种令人毛骨悚然的经历。曾经,at a restaurant in the East Village of NYC,我亲眼看见一个女人在读《了不起的盖茨比》的法文书。在那一次,我成功地抑制了我脑袋里的声音,尖叫着“快跑,你这个白痴!”然后走了进去。幸运的是,the circumstances were in my favor.She was sitting alone at the bar,所以我不必打断她的谈话。我有两个!!)对话开始者可以从她正在阅读的

首先你的心率进入平流层,as if someone pulled the cord on a lawnmower.Pretty soon your pulse pounding away in your head is all you can hear.Next come the usual suspects: shortness of breath,口干,tunnel vision,胃把自己裹成一个结。对我们来说,生活中没有什么比冷遇一个我们想谈的女人更可怕的了。有些人很擅长,但他们是极少数。对于我们其他人,看到一个美丽的陌生人通常是完全存在绝望的第一阶段。不管你怎么切,试图和一个女人搭讪是一种令人毛骨悚然的经历。

曾经,at a restaurant in the East Village of NYC,我亲眼看见一个女人在读一本法国的伟大的盖茨比.在那一次,我成功地抑制了我脑袋里的声音,尖叫着“快跑,你这个白痴!”然后走了进去。幸运的是,the circumstances were in my favor.She was sitting alone at the bar,所以我不必打断她的谈话。我有两个!!)对话的开始者可以从她读我最喜欢的书中选择一本。另一个是她显然讲法语,and I had spent time in France.In terms of the cold approach,那是一个大而胖的垒球。即使是我也能成功地从那一次约会中抽出时间。

通常情况下,虽然,不太有利的情况。事实上,他们通常非常可怕,就像上周末我的一个朋友一样。我们坐在公园里喝咖啡时,他发现了一个他想和之交谈的女孩。不幸的是,不像我的法国女孩,她并不孤单。She was sitting on a park bench talking to a friend,这意味着他必须打断他们,总是一个尴尬的开始事情的方式。For all he knew she was in the middle of unburdening her soul with a very serious conversation.然后有一家人坐在她旁边。一旦他们意识到他在和她搭讪,他会有观众,放心。And who doesn't love a pack of strangers eyeballing you when you're at maximum vulnerability?最后,他没有天然的破冰船,所以他只需要移动到她的眼线,打断她的谈话,忽视家庭,以“嗨”或其他类似的方式打开。不用说,他的可能性很小。

我们很快就想出了一些办法让他和她交谈。He didn't seem thrilled by my suggestion that he take his shirt off and do push-ups in front of her,或者他在我们之间的灯柱上跳钢管舞。So,plan B,I guess.At one point,当我告诉他我要为史密顿写整集的时候,你知道的,just to pile on the pressure,我们考虑把它作为一个输入。He'd go up to her and say his friend (me) is writing a piece on approaching women,然后征求她的意见。但我们否定了这个想法,因为它听起来太有预谋了。最后,我们决定要做的就是吸一口,然后说“嗨”,或者先出去溜走。他选择了二号门。

问题,在这里,那不是说“嗨”是件坏事吗?“嗨”很好。Many of my female friends have assured me that women prefer a guy who just comes up and says "hi." It's what comes after that's the problem.Often,it's nothing.完全的完全的语言中断。Think about it: He walks up,he introduces himself,然后呢?很有可能这个女人至少有一些防御措施。有充分的理由,因为外面有很多毛骨悚然的东西。So it's not like she's just going to roll out the welcome committee.No,the guy has to steer the conversational ship,可以这么说。他必须试着给她看,在非常有限的时间内,用很少的语言,他不是一个无赖或精神病患者。也许他值得找个时间喝一杯。

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更糟糕的是,the more nervous we are,在“嗨”之后,我们就不太可能想出任何能模糊理解的话。“今天天气不错。”“嗨,you like coffee too?" "You may not know it by looking at me,但我跑得很快。你他妈的说什么?在人类的整个历史中,没有人能充分解答这个谜。主要是因为每个女人都不一样,有些人喜欢奉承。有些人不会,some like a cheesy line,others will ruthlessly cut you down if you try one.没有一致同意的对话方式,“嘿,I'm not a horrible person and I'd really like to get to know you a little bit," without actually saying "Hey,我不是一个可怕的人,我真的很想了解你一点。”这很奇怪。基本上是俄罗斯轮盘赌,only instead of a bullet,失去的旋转会让你一个月的情绪崩溃。我想要子弹。

I don't tell you this to encourage you to give every guy who comes up to you a chance.很多人不值得一个。但你要知道当一个男人来找你的时候,他很有可能正在经历一次完全的情绪崩溃,为了挤出一些易懂的话来对你说。Had a building been on fire nearby,he likely would have rushed into that instead because it was less scary than talking to you.

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