Most of us have sex when we're dating someone or in a relationship…it's just what tends to happen.But sometimes a girl craves good old-威廉希尔备用网址fashioned,no-strings attached sex—the kind that you have when you just want to bang it out and be on your way.Why?Because it's effing hot.
"Sometimes it can be more pleasurable to be in your body,fully enjoying sensation versus in your head where judgments and attachments can crop up," says licensed marriage and sex therapistKat Van Kirk,Ph.D."You may end up being more aroused and orgasmic as a result."
But it can be a challenge for women to achieve this."Often for women in particular,we haven't been socialized to have no-strings-attached sex,thanks to the Madonna/whore phenomenon and slut shaming," she says."Many women don't believe they have the right to be as sexually empowered as men."
But,of course,we do—and many women are into the idea,even if they don't always act on it as much as guys,saysJessica O'Reilly,Ph.D.,Astroglide's resident sexologist.She points to new research (http://www.sexwithdrjess.com/2015/05/womens-reluctance-to-engage-in-casual-sex-may-be-the-product-of-fear/) that shows that women are just as open to casual sex as men…when they feel safe and free from judgment.
Into the idea but aren't sure if casual sex is actually for you?Experts say these are important things to keep in mind:
Be honest with yourself: Do you really want casual sex or are you hoping it will turn into something more?A good test,per O'Reilly: Ask yourself how you'd feel if you saw your casual sex partner out with someone else.If you'd be cool with that,go for it.
Be honest with your partner: Clearly you don't have to have any kind of relationship with someone to have sex,but Van Kirk says it's important to be fair."Both you and your casual partner should be on the same page," she says.
Do you: This is all about you,and it's important to keep it that way.Try positions that feel good for you and do things that make your orgasm more intense.
Don't apologize for your desire: Because,as O'Reilly points out,your sex life is no one else's business—now or in the future.
Always practice safe sex: A given,but it never hurts to underscore how important this is.
If you have no-strings-attached sex and find that you love it,great—but it's not for everyone."Only some of us are into casual sex," O'Reilly says.And,if you try it out and decide it's not for you,it's your prerogative.As O'Reilly points out,"You might love no-strings-attached sex today,but decide that it no longer works for you tomorrow and that's perfectly fine."