This reader has a guy that claims he sees her as more than a hookup,but do his actions say otherwise?Let's help her out.
I'm not sure of this guy's intentions,but I do think there's a fairly simple solution to figure it out: Don't have sex with him again if you only want to have sex with someone you're in a relationship with.I don't say that in a judgmental way whatsoever,or in a silly,outdated,"Why would he buy the cow if he gets the milk for free" way either.I say that because you're clearly uncomfortable sleeping with a guy who is hesitant to define your relationship,and you shouldn't do anything that doesn't feel right for you.
I think it's possible this guy does just want a hookup.But on the other hand,I also think it's possible that after hanging out with you again after years,he realized he might really be interested in you but does feel like he needs a little time to recover from his last relationship,or even some time to be single and play the field a bit.这并不一定使他成为一个坏人,but you can't force him into a relationship he's not ready for.
So,should you keep hanging out with him?Maybe,if you think you can have the strength not to hook up with him until he's ready to take you on real dates.If you can be friends with him without hurting yourself,be friends,but make it clear to him that's all you are until he's ready for more and don't stop dating other people while you're waiting for him.If you can't handle it,then tell him that you'd really like to explore a relationship with him but that until he's ready,you'll need some time on your own.How he responds should tell you all you need to know about what kind of relationship with you he wants,even if it takes a little time.
What do you think our reader's guy is going for?What should she do?
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