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公开提议现在很受欢迎,这意味着各地的男人都在冒着最终被公众拒绝的风险。当然,除非他们未来的未婚妻对拒绝感到内疚。事情就是这样一次性压力,他写在Reddit上她说她答应了男友以西结的求婚是迫于压力。

她写道:“一切都进行得很顺利,我今年夏天毕业后有很多工作机会,至于以西结,他刚刚升职了。”“我们决定和他的朋友以及一些同事在这家高级餐厅庆祝。When we arrived in the restaurant, I was a little puzzled as to why Ezekiel ran off ahead of me inside. I followed him there and voila, all of my friends, his friends, our families, and some relatives are all there. There were also a lot of balloons, candles scattered everywhere, pictures of us projected, love song was playing." Uh-oh.

那就是提案提出的时候。“所有的人都冲我大喊,让我答应他们的要求,”她回忆说。但内心深处,我很恐慌。Not because I'm so thrilled that Ezekiel finally proposed to me, but because I'm still not ready. I looked at Ezekiel's face and he looked so hopeful, like he didn't expect me to say no at all. Like he was so sure everything would go exactly as he planned. My heart hurt so much for him at that moment, and just said yes."

她认为她可以把他们秘密结婚的事实压下去,因为她确实爱他,而且可以想象自己和他在一起的情景最后-他们在一起才一年!—but now, he's saying he wants an August or September wedding.她能让这列失控的火车减速吗?她应该一开始就告诉他她不想答应吗?这是雷迪特告诉她的。

“我努力不去评判他,但说真的,谁会在没有和伴侣讨论过这个问题的情况下,提出这么大的公开提议呢?”我真为你难过。I can totally understand why you felt pressured in that situation. Honestly, everything you said here is pretty much perfect: that you love him very much, that you do want to marry him, that you are thrilled he proposed but it's just too soon (you have only been together a year—it's not unreasonable that you feel this way), and that you felt overwhelmed to say yes. I feel like if you do actually want to marry him, a long proposal would be a great compromise. There is no need to get married within the year (in fact, that is insane and would be very stressful if even possible to plan)." —斯蒂芬c1

广告

“不要马上结婚!”You're one half of this team, so you get a say in when you want to get married. Tell him you need more time and that you'd like to enjoy just being engaged for now (unless you don't see a future together with him)." —黄油壶

“你以前谈过婚姻吗?”He should not have proposed, especially in public, if he is not 100 percent sure you are on board with it. He puts you on the spot where you will look heartless if you say no and not be truthful if you say 'yes.' With that said, tell him you love him and that you want to marry him in the future. Maybe set up a deadline. The important thing here is to communicate." —洛夫曼蒂斯托博根

“不要让别人替你做决定。Life is long, and you’ve plenty of time for marriage and stuff, and you need to address him making all these decisions without you. Puts a real smudge on that certificate of perfection you’ve awarded him." —麦克迪88

让他知道你想要更多的时间才能安定下来。Tell him you love him, and it's not because you doubt the relationship, but just that you would like a longer engagement to prepare yourself for married life. He might take to being worried, so if you have a time frame of how long before you would marry, let him know so he understands you want a future with him, but not yet." —ProfHarraber酒店

“你真的爱他吗?你确定要嫁给他吗?听起来你的冷淡是因为他不是你的真命天子。你说“是”是因为压力,不是因为想嫁给这个人。对他隐瞒这件事是不公平的。你需要决定你的犹豫到底是什么,并与他讨论。只是要做好准备,这样的关系可能无法维持下去。”-啤酒13

你怎么想:她应该订婚,推迟婚礼,还是取消婚礼?

别错过:妇科医生能告诉你是不是刚做爱?